A few weeks back (on March 1 to be precise) we celebrated a pretty big milestone around here: our mighty little shop turned 18. Now that we’ve crossed the all-important threshold, to 18 years old, we’re looking forward to exercising our rights, which in some cases involve very little actual exercise. Here’s a quick list of the things we can now legally get away with.
Drive All Night. With an adult drivers license, we can drive all night, or at least hit the drive-thru for some nosh in the wee hours.
Inked. In accordance with the law, we can now get the tattoo we have been dreaming about, sans parental permission. Lower back bullseye anyone? Some of us may have done this. Recently. Sans bullseye.
Blood. Donating blood is something we don’t do enough of as a society. One pint of blood can save three lives. There are nine of us, so you do the math. Some who will remain nameless just need to get over their fear of needles.
Fireworks. Not the make-out kind. Actual explosives. We can now purchase the Roman Candles we’ve been eyeing and create dazzling displays in the night sky for all to see. That’s what a fourth floor office is for, right?
Spray Paint. Believe it or not, one cannot legally buy spray paint until age eighteen. We’re in line right now.
Tobacco. Time to exercise our right to puff on the nic sticks and shorten our lifespans. Kidding. Cigar anyone?
Adult Jail. Right, so maybe we won’t go on that spray painting spree after all, since we can now find ourselves in good old adult jail.
Jury. Yes, we can now legally serve on a Jury of our peers, which happens to be a block from our office. We rule in favor of helping to support our judicial system.
Strip (or go to a strip club). Again, we’re just running through some options that are now legally available. We strut our stuff for clients on the regs, but there are fewer single dollar bills involved, and no pole to speak of.
Jackpot. Yup. We can play the lottery. At the very least, we’re hoping the occasional scratch off bounty will help offset our parking tickets. Ahem.
Work. There are now no legal restrictions on how much time we log at the office. Great.
Credit (where credit is due). We can now get a shiny new credit card, and establish a credit history by binging on gadgets of the future and doing drunk late night online shopping. Oh wait, we’re not 21 yet. Scratch that last part.
Adoption. We can legally adopt a child. Does our Roomba count?
Pawn. If the lottery does not pan out, we can hock some basement heirlooms, or resell the soon-to-be obsolete gadgets amassing dust and interest on our credit card.
Name. We can change our name to Snake Plissken, or Royal Tennenbaum. Done.
Vote. Yeah. This one. We did. You?
Marry. Till death do us part. Granted, we could have gotten married in some states long before now, but we just weren’t ready for the commitment.
Sarcasm has no legal age requirement, obviously. Hence this little comedic rant and recap of our newfound freedoms. In all seriousness, we are so grateful for every job, every client, every staffer, every moment, and every year under our belt. The gratitude is real, and overflowing.
Luke, KSM, and The Crew